you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
