Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
