so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
