420 ftw
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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