i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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