11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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