I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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