I didn't shave. On purpose
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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