It's Friday. Sex?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
