How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
