just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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