haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
