So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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