Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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Do I have a choice?
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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