How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
