I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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