Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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