She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
