i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
