i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
