She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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