Whoa Z and x make the same sound
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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