Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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