honey bunches of taint.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
