i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
