whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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