no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
