Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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