so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
