I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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