2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We're too hungover to prance.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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