we're chasing vodka with high fives
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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