Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
