i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Randomize
