I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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