Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just puked most of my soul out..
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