i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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