I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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