either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cannot find my penis.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
