Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
