You can't special order awesome
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
