just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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