she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
