She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
