Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry creeper2112 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her

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(619): View more from California

I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .

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(425): View more from Washington

It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.

(425): View more from Washington

Not including when spray tanning

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(406): View more from Montana

We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!

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(504): View more from Louisiana

So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.

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(713): View more from Texas

Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.

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