Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
