where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
