How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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