I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
