Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
